Lex Valentine Why I Write M/M ~ Guest Blog and Giveaway

I would like to thank Lex Valentine for stopping by today to talk about why SHE writes in the M/M Romance and her experience in doing so.  I recently reviewed her latest audio release Kissing Joan Collins, so be sure to check that out as well.


For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Lex Valentine and I’ve been published since 2008. Of course, like most authors, I’ve been writing much longer and my interest in the MM genre goes back to the late 70’s when I was in high school. Back then there weren’t a lot of books out in this genre. What I could find, I devoured. I guess I was one of the earliest women to find this genre fascinating. And now, it’s experiencing a huge boom with many women authors and readers.

I’m not a fan of erotica (no HEA just sex) in any pairing because I’m a dyed in the wool romance reader. When I write, I write what I’d like to read, the kinds of stories that call to my heart. I happen to like the sappy stories too like the ones that typically flood the market during the holidays. Love those “make you cry at the happy ending” holiday books! The holiday miracles of love stories. I’ve been known to write them too. 😉

The dynamic between two men is different than in a MF pairing or even any ménage pairing (even a MMM.) You have two people first of all dealing with lust. Men do tend to be more physically oriented. Then, you have two people trying to communicate. And typically, men tend to be less forthcoming with their emotions so the communication issues in an MM book can often drive the reader nuts with frustration.

I find more and more MM books with heroes who struggle to communicate with each other, who rely on the physical to get their point across instead of talking something out, who miss clues about each other until you want to shake them and bang their heads together until they see the truth! And while some of you may think this is a plot device, it often isn’t. It’s often how men really are. I know because I ask them!

When the majority of your friends are male and a portion of them are gay as well, you find yourself getting into discussions with them about emotions and communication. After all, who knows better how men act and react than a man? You’d also think that since men know how men are, that with a gay couple, they’d understand the whole reluctance to talk about emotions thing and have better communication. Not necessarily. As one of my gay male friends says, “We’re still men. We still don’t want to talk about how we feel. We’d still rather fuck and ignore the stuff we’re not comfortable talking about.”

So all those angsty MM books out there where the heroes don’t communicate well, don’t tell even their best friends things they feel…well, that actually happens! Yep, it’s not just a plot device to drive readers nuts. Now, not all men are that way. There are some who don’t mind talking about their feelings. And even those who don’t can sometimes be very forthcoming with the proper motivation. Faced with losing your lover if you don’t speak up…some men will crack and open their hearts. Others let the fear overcome them. I’ve certainly seen it happen in real life.

The books that make you cry, that wrench at your heart strings, for me those tend to be the ones where the heroes finally admit the truth of their feelings after having hidden them. I like when they own up to the fragility of their own hearts. I like when they realize the mistakes they’ve made and work to rectify them. I like the hard won HEA. It makes the coming together so much sweeter when everything was so heartbreakingly bad earlier in the book. And while not every hard won HEA is because of communication, many of them are because it’s hard to argue with the truth of how humans are.

One of the reasons I write MM is because prying words of true love out of men can be utterly satisfying for both reader and author. And the thought of those hot male bodies together ain’t so bad either.

Where to find Lex Valentine

Website: http://lexvalentine.com

Facebook: http://facebook.com/lexvalentineauthor

Twitter: http://twitter.com/lexvalentine


Lex Valentine writes across genres from paranormal to fantasy-futuristic to contemporary. Although romance is her preferred genre, she occasionally writes a dark tale or two. All of Lex’s romances contain a Happily Ever After. She just doesn’t do romance any other way.


Valentine has graciously agreed to offer 2 prizes.  First is an eBook copy of any book from her backlist as well as an audio copy of Fire Season, Broken Bonds, or Kissing Joan Collins.  (you know me an audiobooks 😉 )

Contest ends 12 Jan 2014 at 11:59pm CST.  Must be 18 or older to enter, void where prohibited, etc, etc, etc.

Farewell Giveaway
I have a number of paperbacks, most of which are signed, to giveaway. Over the between now (11 Mar 2017) and 31 Mar 2017, every comment on the blog (this post and all other new posts), will be entered to win 1 of these paperbacks. There are also some misc swag items, so there will be a few packs of these to give away as well.

Thank you so much for your support over the last 4 years. Prism will be closing its doors on 1 April 2017. All content will remain available, but no new content will appear after 31 Mar 2017. As such all request forms have been turned off. Again Thank you,

This post may contain affiliate links.
Prism Book Alliance® assumes no liability for the ownership of photos or content used in guest posts and interviews.  The post author assumes all responsibility and liability for this content.

22 thoughts on “Lex Valentine Why I Write M/M ~ Guest Blog and Giveaway

  1. Oh how I love your stories. I have to have emotional connection to the characters or the story just isn’t good. Your book are tear jerkers, and I love it! I have to have a HEA to, and I just can’t read HFN’S at all.
    Thank you for the wonderful giveaway!


  2. Though I can appreciate what you’re trying to say here, I have to be concerned a bit by how the message seems to promote gender stereotypes. Yes, men can be uncommunicative and rely on the physical…but some aren’t and don’t. I’m not saying that what you’ve shared here are untruths but it feels a bit like you’re presenting them as absolutes. Understanding men, women, straight, queer is important, crucial actually. But making generalizations and perpetuating stereotypes is taking a dangerous step backwards from the diverse and accepting world we’re striving towards.

    I’m not trying to be argumentative or confrontational. I was just really…disheartened…by this post, though I’m certain you didn’t mean any malice by it at all.

  3. I am new to Les Valentine’s books but will be looking into them as soon as possible as I really love this genre and do enjoy a HEA. Thank you for entering me in the giveaway.

  4. Romance is at the heart of everything I read. If there isn’t a romance subplot, I end up making one up just to keep things interesting. 😉

  5. I love audiobooks a lot and have listened to about 50 of them, but none from Lex until now. Going to have to change that, these stories sound awesome. Thank you for the wonderful post! 😉

  6. I never really thought about the whole “men don’t talk about our feelings” in books being a true thing not a plot device. I’m lucky that my husband is fairly open with me and yet I don’t have many other males in my life to compare to. I do agree that a hard won HEA is great if frustrating 😀

  7. Fire Season was the first book I read by Lex and remains one of my favorites. I enjoyed this look at why you write m/m stories – I’m so glad that you do.

  8. Haven’t read your books yet sounds interesting will have to check you out and I agree I am more give me a good reason for the sex not just to have sex for sex sake

Leave a Reply