Showing Love ~ Ethan Stone: Outside the Margins

Join us as Ethan Stone goes Outside the Margins.

Ethan Stone OtMWhat is love?

When I met Demetri, my boyfriend, I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I’d been looking for almost a year and was tired of the freaks and psychos I’d been meeting. But somehow Demetri wiggled into my heart.

I can’t say exactly when I fell in love with him, though I definitely remember the first time we said the words. And the more time we spent together, the more I loved him.

If I were to write our story, would readers see and feel the emotions? Translating feelings into words on a page is difficult. Love isn’t a physical thing like a tree that someone can describe. But that’s exactly what romance authors do. I know I haven’t always been successful and I see it as the same reason I’d have trouble writing about my romance with Demetri.

When I write a story I can feel the chemistry between the characters and occasionally forget that the readers don’t have the same connection I do. In movies and television you can rely on the connection between the actors. The smoldering looks, the flirtatious gestures, they all add up to create the spark.

How do you make that same spark in a book? That’s not an easy question. Since I normally write mysteries I use the danger and the solving of the crime as a way for the guys to bond.

In real life I have never been in trouble with the law, or accused of the crime I didn’t commit, though recently I was interviewed by the FBI.

In real life I call my boyfriend an asshole and a dork and a brat, all in joking matter. Sometimes when he’s sleeping I squeeze his nostrils. In bed I’ve put a pillow over his head, pretending to smother him. If I wrote scenes like that would readers see the feelings involved? Those are just a few ways we tell each other how we feel.

That’s just one of many things that don’t translate into books. Another is insta-love, or love at first sight. Does it happen in real life? Absolutely. But making it work in fiction is difficult.

In reality Jose can look at Marcello across a crowded room and fall in love. However, an author cannot write: Jose gazed into Marcello’s eyes and knew he’d met the man he was going to spend the rest of his life with.

Showing love in reality and showing love in a book are two very distinct things and we all do it differently.

I’m curious about other people and what how they express their love in real life. Tell me in the comments, I’ll pick a favorite and reward them with an ebook of any book from my backlist.

May the force with you

~ Ethan J Stone

About Ethan Stone

Ethan Stone is an out and proud gay man. Which is fairly new in his life, the out part, not the gay part. He’s been queer his whole life, though he tried to deny it for years with a wonderful woman. The years in denial weren’t all bad, he has two amazing kids out of it. His son is a teenager and his daughter has made him a grandfather, three times over. A way too young grandfather.

Ethan recently returned to Oregon after almost a decade in Nevada. He no longer has a day job and is doing his best to make a living at this writing thing. If he can’t make a living, he at least wants to support his Mt. Dew and beef jerky addictions.

Readers can find Ethan online.


Twitter: @ethanjstone

Google +:

Ello: @ethanstone92




Farewell Giveaway
I have a number of paperbacks, most of which are signed, to giveaway. Over the between now (11 Mar 2017) and 31 Mar 2017, every comment on the blog (this post and all other new posts), will be entered to win 1 of these paperbacks. There are also some misc swag items, so there will be a few packs of these to give away as well.

Thank you so much for your support over the last 4 years. Prism will be closing its doors on 1 April 2017. All content will remain available, but no new content will appear after 31 Mar 2017. As such all request forms have been turned off. Again Thank you,

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4 thoughts on “Showing Love ~ Ethan Stone: Outside the Margins

  1. I don’t show love in quirky little ways LOL! I mainly do it by trying to make life a little easier for my partner–almost like being the ‘PA’ for his life, as opposed to the person who does it for him at his office. He is away a lot, so I try to make his life run smoothly in his absence, not just when he is here–though he has a high-pressure job, so I try to make his downtime enjoyable and low-stress–and also deal with all the small matters that crop up and might overwhelm him if he had to deal with them all.

  2. I enjoy stories where the main characters behave just as you mentioned. Joking around, calling each other names, poking at each other just to get a reaction. I like those stories because I relate to them more. I do not relate to the overly romantic, so sweet your teeth hurt stories. I like reading about love that is subtle as Susan mentioned, where one character shows his love by just being there or anticipating his partners needs and taking care of it without the thought of recognition.

    It is a difficult thing to write on an emotionless page, but I prefer stories where love is shown in actions rather than told to me in words.

  3. Doing things I don’t like doing because he hates doing them even more! eg the washing up!

    It frustrates me when I read a book and can see the connection between two characters, but a reviewer disses it because they don’t believe the feelings have been shown enough. In reality, the sorts of instances you are describing, expressing yourself in the way that is right for you (or the character) is more real. I suspect what a lot of readers react to is characters thinking these feelings ie “teling” the reader that they have them.

    In many instances, because of the character’s pasts and present situations, these touchy feely things they are looking for would be wildly inappropriate. However, that’s what the mm romance readers want.

    Maybe that’s why I’m getting more and more drawn to gay fiction.

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