We’re Okay… or not ~ Chris Cox: Outside the Margins

Join us as Chris Cox goes Outside the Margins.

Chris-Cox-OtMSome of us, especially those of us who are LGBTQ, spend holidays without family. Some of us don’t have partners. And some of us have friends who DO have family and partners with holiday plans that don’t include us.

And that’s okay.


Although it may feel awkward sometimes when you think about us, we’re gonna be okay.

But to help smooth over those unjolly feelings you get when you think of us, here are some simple tips.

  1. Don’t make us fake happy. Please. We are okay with content. We are even okay with a little bit sad. (If you see us a lot of bit sad, as in, we need professional help, then get us help. Otherwise…) Please respect our desire to skip the hyperjoy the season seems to call for and let us feel what we feel without having to fake it to make you feel better about us. (And yes, sometimes we get a little grouchy when you push.)
  2. If you have a party or a get together, please invite more than one single person, or make sure a few of the couples talk to us. When everyone has someone, except us, we can only stare in pseudo-rapture at your tree for so long until our plastic smile starts to hurt. As a good host, recognize that we may need a little more TLC to get us mixing and mingling.
  3. Once we tell you of our plans, or lack thereof, please don’t keep asking if we have made better plans as the holidays draw closer. Your hope that we will find a better deal than a lazy day reading only makes us feel as if we are failing to celebrate the holidays correctly.
  4. Invite us into your family celebration if you’d like, but please make sure the rest of your family is on board with this, too. We’d rather read a good book than try to politely ignore the questioning looks we get from your grandmother or the resentful glance from your dad who wants to keep the holidays a time for just family.
  5. And here’s a tricky one that makes us sound less than gracious. Please, don’t continuously talk about your upcoming plans when you know we don’t have any. Yes, we are happy for you. Yes, we want you to have a lovely holiday. No, we aren’t jealous (much). But knowing we aren’t living the Hallmark dream when it sounds like you are makes it harder to be at peace with ourselves.

But really, we’re okay. (Unless we aren’t. Then please help.) We wish you happy holiday celebrations. Just don’t keep wishing it on us when it ain’t gonna happen. Give us your love, through this time of year and all the other times of the year and we’ll love you back. That’s more than enough to keep us content until the world goes back to normal.


~ Chris Cox

Farewell Giveaway
I have a number of paperbacks, most of which are signed, to giveaway. Over the between now (11 Mar 2017) and 31 Mar 2017, every comment on the blog (this post and all other new posts), will be entered to win 1 of these paperbacks. There are also some misc swag items, so there will be a few packs of these to give away as well.

Thank you so much for your support over the last 4 years. Prism will be closing its doors on 1 April 2017. All content will remain available, but no new content will appear after 31 Mar 2017. As such all request forms have been turned off. Again Thank you,

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4 thoughts on “We’re Okay… or not ~ Chris Cox: Outside the Margins

  1. Love number 3. Rarely do we see articles concerning those who might not celebrate the holidays in the way society thinks everyone should, & I think the points you’ve raised are quite thoughtful. Thanks for putting a rarely-seen perspective out there for everyone to consider.

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