Finding Balance ~ Brigham Vaughn: Outside the Margins

Join us as Brigham Vaughn goes Outside the Margins.

Brigham-Vaughn-OtMFinding Balance

I’ve never been particularly fond of New Year’s resolutions.  If I have something I want to change about myself, I usually do it when it comes up.  Or at least I try to.  But there is something nice about the beginning of the year and feeling like you can start fresh.

Since my last blog post I thought about balance a lot.  Where I went wrong last year, what I can do better. Where I want to be next year.  This post seems like a good way to sum up those thoughts and explore what I learned in 2014.

I can’t claim that I’ve figured this writing/life balance out.  It’s still a work in progress so everything I say should be taken with a grain of salt.  What works for me might not work for you.  Hell, by the end of next year I may find that what I thought would work for me is ludicrously wrong.   But in the past year I have discovered a few things.

First of all, I can’t go non-stop like I did last winter/spring.  My writing flourished but the rest of my life suffered.

This summer and fall I had so much in my day to day life on my plate that my writing suffered.  Ugh.  Not good either.

What I’ve learned is that although my day job is boring, I need to be grateful that I can write while I’m there.

I simply can’t write in the evenings after work.  My brain is too scattered and worn out and I’m neither productive nor creative at that time.  It’s frustrating and pointless to try, and I could better use the time relaxing and recharging.

I need exercise.  I might not particularly enjoy it, but I need to do it anyway.  Especially yoga, which I do enjoy.

I should say yes to the invitations I get.  Sitting behind my computer to write is good.  But experiencing the world around me for my own pleasure is also important.  Doing something out of my comfort zone is even better.  They make my writing richer.

I’d like to spend more time with the people who matter to me.

I want to encourage my creativity and have more interesting blog content.

I have to stop flying by the seat of my pants.  This is the biggest one of all.  While it’s gotten me far, if I intend to make writing my career, I have to be more organized.  Which means making a schedule and sticking to it.  Setting goals and following through.  Being an adult. gasps The HORROR! Ahem. I kid.  Sort of.  It’s a real struggle for me, but I’m learning.

On the surface, this list looks like I’m adding more to an already busy schedule, but I think if I go about it right, it’ll be a good plan to find balance.  Not a perfect plan, or one that’s rigid and inflexible, but a good guideline.  I can’t have it all.  No one can.  But I can teach myself to be more organized and efficient so I can accomplish my goals and enjoy my life while I do it.


For now, my plan is to stay off social media from about 7:30-10:30 in the mornings during my work day and use that downtime to write.  I have every other Friday off work and I’m going to spend the morning (7:30-Noon) and write. When I can, I’ll do the same on Sunday mornings but overall, the weekends are going to be my time to spend with my husband, relax with friends, and take care of the house.

I’m going to use the fitness center at work twice a week after work and go to yoga on Saturday mornings.

I’m going to take more photos and post them on the blog.  I’m going to take part in flash fiction Mondays along with the wonderful Helena Stone.

I’m going to finish the “Equals” series.  I’m going finish my two novels and polish them to send to the publishers.  I’m going to be open to the new plot bunnies that pop up.  I’m going to enjoy the process of creating and shaping a story.  I’m going to appreciate that I have the opportunity to be a writer.

And I’m going to remain flexible.  Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s to expect the unexpected from life.

About Family

Family_-A-Holiday-Novella-Equals-3-Brigham-Vaughn Title: Family (Equals #3)
Publisher: Self Published
Genre: Contemporary, Fiction, M/M Romance, Romance

After too many holidays alone, Russ Bishop and Stephen Parker decide to invite Russ’ family to spend Christmas with them. Russ wants to repair the fractured relationships with his father and sister, and Stephen wants to feel like he’s part of a family. But when Russ’ sister, Addie, brings an unexpected guest, it makes an already challenging situation more complicated. The Christmas Stephen gets may not be as perfect as the one he imagined but perhaps happiness can be found in the flaws.

Peter clapped him on the back. “I’ve known you for a lot of years, Stephen. I saw you with Jeremy and after his accident. I saw you when you believed you’d never fall in love again. This relationship with Russ—it’s made you a new man. You may not see it, but it’s changed you.”

“I know it has,” Stephen acknowledged. Peter left, and Stephen sought Russ again. He was in line at the bar now, and he held up his empty glass, mouthing “be there in a moment”. Eager to go to him, Stephen set down his own empty glass on a deserted table as he crossed the distance between them. Russ, distracted by something the person in front of him said, didn’t notice Stephen’s approach.

Stephen leaned in, whispering in Russ’ ear as he rested his hands lightly on Russ’ hips. “Dance with me?”

Russ turned to look at him, surprised. “Are you sure?”

“Sure I want to put my arms around the man I love? Yes.” The earlier doubt he’d felt was gone. Peter had some valid points, and what Stephen wouldn’t give to feel Russ in his arms right now. Over the years, he’d conditioned himself to expect less than others, simply because he was gay. Straight couples didn’t think twice about dancing with each other during the holiday party. Why should he?

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~ Brigham Vaughn

About Brigham Vaughn

Farewell Giveaway
I have a number of paperbacks, most of which are signed, to giveaway. Over the between now (11 Mar 2017) and 31 Mar 2017, every comment on the blog (this post and all other new posts), will be entered to win 1 of these paperbacks. There are also some misc swag items, so there will be a few packs of these to give away as well.

Thank you so much for your support over the last 4 years. Prism will be closing its doors on 1 April 2017. All content will remain available, but no new content will appear after 31 Mar 2017. As such all request forms have been turned off. Again Thank you,

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8 thoughts on “Finding Balance ~ Brigham Vaughn: Outside the Margins

  1. Great post and wonderful resolutions. I’m nowhere near as organized but I do have one or two plans for the year. We’ll see how that works out. Doing the Flash Fiction with you is such a delight. I’m looking forward to seeing what we’ll come up with over the next few months. Good luck with your plans. I’ve no doubt you’ll be able to follow through 🙂

    • Thank you! I’m not normally so organized but I decided I’d try giving that a shot for once and see how it goes. 😉

      The Flash Fiction is a delight. I am thoroughly enjoying myself!

  2. I feel your pain. I’m having a really hard time with balance. The holidays didn’t help. And I don’t even have an EDJ anymore. Sometimes I think that’s worse because I makes me think I have more time than I do and it gives me the freedom to put things off. When I worked I was much more disciplined and structured with my time.

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