Faking It ~ Outside the Margins with Ethan Stone

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Faking It by Ethan Stone

I could do a David Letterman-style top ten list on why gay men are better than straight men, but being a gay man makes me slightly biased.

There is one thing that straight men do that I would never do—want my partner to fake an orgasm. Not that straight men want their partner to fake it, but apparently it is something that happens.

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Ever since seeing When Harry Met Sally and the scene where Meg Ryan pounds the table in mock ecstasy and sexual excitement I’ve wondered why some women perfect such an odd skill. It’s certainly not a talent I possess, nor do many of my gay male friends.

I asked a few of my female friends why, on occasion, they feel the need to fake it.

This was Laura’s response: “If I fake it, it’s because I’m just too damn tired and don’t want hear him whine. I just want to go to sleep.”

Amy agreed. “All I want to do is sleep.”

I’m all for sleeping, but that comes after the sex. I’d rather have sex than sleep. Hell, I’d rather have sex than eat. The subject here is the difference between gay men and straight men. And the real question is why straight men would need, or want, their partner to fake an orgasm.

Amy said that if straight men don’t get the woman off they feel like a failure. When it’s two men together that isn’t the case. For me, sex is always a success. The success is finding someone that you click with enough to get past that awkward first date. Sex is easy, it’s the talking before and afterward that’s difficult.

If my partner and I can make it to bed and maintain our excitement enough to get to the main event, then it was a triumph, regardless of the final…outcome.

There might be an ego difference between gay and straight men. Growing up, boys are taught what does and doesn’t make them a man. Of course, we weren’t told that you can suck cock or take it up the ass and still be a man. Just the opposite, in fact. So we either hid those desires and tried to act like what the world considered real men or we faced ridicule and scorn. We were responsible for our own sense of masculinity while straight men didn’t have to fight to prove they were men. We taught ourselves self-respect and didn’t learn to need it from others. Our sense of manliness and self-esteem doesn’t necessarily depend on our partner.

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Here’s a scenario. Two people are running a marathon together. They’re running side by side until one starts to lag behind. The distance between them gets longer and longer. Eventually one of them is much further ahead than the other. Soon, one of them has totally stopped. But the other person is feeling fresh and full of excitement and isn’t about to stop. That person wants to cross the finish line at all costs.

As a gay man, I imagine it this way. If the couple is straight, the man is going to finish. But if his partner doesn’t finish as well, is he going to feel like he isn’t a real man? Is his sense of self wholly and totally dependent on his partner finishing with him? But the woman probably isn’t going to finish, so what’s any self-respecting straight man gonna do?

He would be just as happy to knock her over the head and drag her over the finish line by her hair. Obviously, she doesn’t like that idea. She’d much rather fake crossing the finish line by hopping into a car and hoping the guy doesn’t realize she cheated. But what if the car breaks down? Would the driver phone AAA for a tow or request extra gas?

Things would be different if the couple was a gay male couple. As one guy pulls forward and the other one falls back, the lead man is going to know there is an excellent reason why. Maybe the one guy is tired or maybe he has a leg cramp. Or maybe the guy ran earlier, maybe by himself, or with another man. All men know it can be difficult to finish more than once a day. Whatever the reason, the second guy simply cannot cross the finish line, even if he wants to more than life itself.

The lead man’s confidence and self-assurance isn’t tied into whether or not his partner finishes. He is going to cross the finish and it is going to be fucking amazing! And the guy who doesn’t finish is going to enjoy watching his partner win the race.

It would seem that straight men need reassurance when it comes to making love. They need to feel that they did well. Like a little puppy, desperate for attention, they need those words of encouragement. Only instead of “Good dog” it’s “Oh yeah, baby. You made me cum!”
Maybe, what it comes down to is this: Straight men need their ego stroked. Gay men only need their cock stroked.

This post was updated from one written years ago and posted on a different site.

~Ethan Stone

About Ethan Stone

Ethan Stone is an out and proud gay man. Which is fairly new in his life, the out part, not the gay part. He’s been queer his whole life, though he tried to deny it for years with a wonderful woman. The years in denial weren’t all bad, he has two amazing kids out of it. His son is a teenager and his daughter has made him a grandfather, three times over. A way too young grandfather.

Ethan recently returned to Oregon after almost a decade in Nevada. He no longer has a day job and is doing his best to make a living at this writing thing. If he can’t make a living, he at least wants to support his Mt. Dew and beef jerky addictions.

Readers can find Ethan online.

Facebook: www.facebook.com/ethan.stone.54
Twitter: @ethanjstone
Google +: https://plus.google.com/u/0/+EthanStone92
Ello: @ethanstone92
Website: www.ethanjstone.com
Email: ethanstone.nv@gmail.com
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Farewell Giveaway
I have a number of paperbacks, most of which are signed, to giveaway. Over the between now (11 Mar 2017) and 31 Mar 2017, every comment on the blog (this post and all other new posts), will be entered to win 1 of these paperbacks. There are also some misc swag items, so there will be a few packs of these to give away as well.

Thank you so much for your support over the last 4 years. Prism will be closing its doors on 1 April 2017. All content will remain available, but no new content will appear after 31 Mar 2017. As such all request forms have been turned off. Again Thank you,

Brandilyn
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One thought on “Faking It ~ Outside the Margins with Ethan Stone

  1. As much as I love the puppy dog analogy, I think the reason has more to do with fear – if a guy can’t bring his date off, she’ll think he’s a selfish bastard and she won’t let him do it again. (And it’s all about doing it again.) Then there’s what’s going on in the girl’s head – if she doesn’t cross the finish line, he’ll think she’s frigid or broken or something.
    But they do make such cute puppies…

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