Project Shifter by Artemis Wolffe & Tuesday Falconheart ~ Book Review by Queue

Project ShifterTitle: Project Shifter

Author: Artemis Wolffe & Tuesday Falconheart

Publisher: Self Published

Cover Artist: Resplendent Media

Rating: 1 of 5 Stars

Publication Date: 07/22/2015

Length: Novel (~ 50K-100K)

Genre: Contemporary, M/M Romance, Paranormal

Blurb:

This is a Standalone Novella about a doomed Alpha Werewolf who seeks help from a Witch and an unsuspecting Human Omega Personal Stylist.

This Gay MM Mpreg Paranormal Romance is approximately 180 Pages.

Steam level: Boxer Melting

My View:

With most reviews, even negative ones, I try my best to write something positive. Project Shifter made it very, very difficult to do that. There are just so many things wrong with this story and so few things right.

The convoluted plot centers around Prince Victor, a shifter, who is due to ascend the throne because his father is near death. He must marry soon and there are no suitable women in his country, never mind that he secretly prefers the unfairer sex. So Victor goes to America to find his queen and the plot is put into jeopardy when he is unable to control his shifting. Turns out he is a hansebeast and he must not marry and impregnate his wife before some weird and confusing time table.

Mikey Sean Sean, yes that’s his name, is a personal stylist dealing with his younger lover taking off with all this money. He’s in a bind and is thrilled when a friend calls him to help with Prince Victor.

First of all I believe wholeheartedly that this was originally written as an m/f story then re-written, badly, as an m/m. The first clue was when a grown man pouted and

burst into tears and threw myself onto the bed, and buried my face in one of my pillows.

I don’t see any adult, man or woman, doing such a thing, but it is the type of thing that women have traditionally done in het romances.

The other clue I had that this was first written as het came toward the end of the story when Mikey relays the story of what just happened to him to a cabbie, and the cabbie says

Jeezus lady, thats some story.

And Mikey doesn’t correct him or even seem to notice it.

Mikey also makes certain utterances like:

Fuck me with my Ferragamos and Feed me to the Dragon Queen.

Some of the terms and facts in the story are just…bad. There are witches involved in the story and they mention things like a ‘batwitchma’ and they actually ride brooms!

The paranormal and magical elements of the story tend to be confusing. In the beginning Prince Victor’s sister has died but his father is too ill to attend so they call on a witch to help. She makes Victor appear like his father so the public thinks the king has attended the funeral. I guess no one cared the prince wasn’t there. And to make it worse the funeral isn’t even shown, nor is the magical transformation. It’s pure telling, not showing.

Two hours later, I walked out of my fathers chambers as the king. I attended the funeral and accepted condolences, and thanks to the power of the magic, not once did my inner feral wolf rear its dangerous head.

As night fell on that sad day, I returned once again to the kings chambers. Gwendolyn gave us each a new potion to drink, and soon I was back in my own skin.

I wondered what the purpose of the whole thing was, mentioning a funeral but not showing it anyway. In fact I wondered why the deceased sister even existed. In the story she had been set to lead, but her death forced Victor to step up. Plotwise, there were other ways to make it necessary that Victor became king, such as…his father dying, which we deal with anyway.

Regarding the sex scene there were several moments I shook my head in dismay and rolled my eyes. At one point they use hair conditioner as lube which is just wrong. No, it doesn’t work. I wish every single author knew this, and I would never, ever have to see it again. Conditioner as lube is not wise. Major itchiness, people, as well as possible infections.

The verbiage in sex scenes tended to be repetitive:

He pressed against me, jostling his butt to help my cock find his back door. Still holding my cock in place I pressed into his ass, teasing him with the tip of my cock.

And there’s this bit of exposition in an ancient book of spells. The spells, by the way, usually rhyme, though this one doesn’t.

“Kiss his tree and make it grow, that’s how you cure the Hansebeast.”

The term ‘kiss his tree’ leads to a bit of monster porn where Mikey has to suck off Victor who has basically gone feral and can only get control with Mikey’s help. I suppose the scene was supposed to be sexy but I found it more stomach churning than erotic.

At his side, but still out of range from his deadly jaws I bent down from my waist and stretched both hands out until I found purchase on his cock. The Hansebeast let out a howl of what I hoped was pleasure, as I held onto and became familiar with his thick throbbing cock. In the dim light of the van it appeared almost blood red and purple.

And

Before I could scream, he mounted me, his twice the original size cock pushing into my ass.

Yes, Victor’s dick, already well-sized, became twice it’s original size and still managed to fit into a human’s orifice.

Okay, now I need to mention the worst part. That’s right, I haven’t gotten to the worst of it yet.

Victor needs to appear human so he can meet and seduce women and only having sex with Mikey can get that done. Mikey, having fallen in love with Victor, is reluctant to help him marry someone else, so he refuses. Victor, however, is so hell-bent on finding the right spouse that first he offers to pay Mikey to have sex with him, then threatens to rape him. Yes, rape, how very romantic. That’s true love, right there.

Mikey eventually comes around and agrees to sleep with Victor, for the right price. Again, how romantic is that?

Once Victor is fit as a fiddle and sexy as ever, he sets out to find the woman he is supposed to marry. How does he do that? By sleeping with several ladies. Whichever woman gets pregnant immediately will become the prince’s spouse.

To recap, Victor loves Mikey, Mikey loves Victor, but Victor is so dead set on not being stuck as a creature for the rest of his life that he will do whatever it takes to get that done; rape, sex with multiple partners, impregnating a woman and marrying her. Not my idea of true love. Rather disgusting actually, if you ask me.

Not even the HEA gave me any satisfaction. Victor doesn’t get married but it’s not because he comes to his senses, no, it’s something much more external.

This book even had problems with technical issues. There are frequent shifts in tenses. Most of the book is written in past tense, then certain passages such as this one appear.

As I watch helplessly, the gaggle of witches gather and the candles of the circle are lit one by one. My Aunt Sasha takes the lead and calls the four quarters.

Let’s not forget misused words (then vs. than) and misspelled words (Porta Pottis.)

And the blurb on Goodreads and Amazon? It doesn’t tell readers anything about the story. Maybe that’s the point because readers might see there’s nothing there.

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Links

Project Shifter on Goodreads

Amazon US
Amazon UK
Amazon CA

I would like to thank the publisher for providing me with the eARC of this title in exchange for my honest opinion.

Farewell Giveaway
I have a number of paperbacks, most of which are signed, to giveaway. Over the between now (11 Mar 2017) and 31 Mar 2017, every comment on the blog (this post and all other new posts), will be entered to win 1 of these paperbacks. There are also some misc swag items, so there will be a few packs of these to give away as well.

Thank you so much for your support over the last 4 years. Prism will be closing its doors on 1 April 2017. All content will remain available, but no new content will appear after 31 Mar 2017. As such all request forms have been turned off. Again Thank you,

Brandilyn
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