The Marrying Kind ~ Outside the Margins with Shae Connor

Join Prism Book Alliance® as Shae Connor goes Outside the Margins today.


As some of you know from my comments on social media, my sister is getting married. In about a week and a half from the time this post appears. Needless to say, things are a bit crazy around these parts.

Wedding responses and gifts are rolling in. There’s a big stack of wedding supplies in the living room, mostly reception decorations, some of which require assembly. Hair and nail appointments are lined up. We’ve got a lingerie shower/bachelorette party coming up this weekend. Budget numbers have been crunched and re-crunched. And somewhere in there, dayjobs and daily life have to go on.

I’ve always loved weddings. My mom and I started discussing my wedding when I was maybe 12 or 13 years old, in general terms like what colors I’d like and how to properly word an invitation. It’s always just been a fun discussion to have, not anything serious, but now we’re putting some of that “practice” to work. I’ve never gotten to the point of planning a wedding of my own, so I’ve been using those ideas for my sister’s wedding.

Having gone through all the work and stress and planning for this wedding, I’m now torn over whether I’d want to go through it again if I do eventually get married.

Our roommate (JP Barnaby) isn’t torn at all. “Vegas,” she says firmly whenever the wedding discussions come up. It’s been funny, too, to watch her be baffled by things like registering for china and having multiple showers and other bridal parties. My sister is doing much less of those things than a typical Southern bride, in part because she’s older and in part because she lives in Atlanta and not our small hometown. But we’ve grown up participating in those traditions, so it’s nothing unusual to us.

Still, it is a little strange to be planning a wedding after all these years, and a little of that is because it isn’t mine. And thinking about a theoretical wedding of my own at some point in the future feels a little different than it did when I was 12. For starters, if my sister is an “older” bride at 38, I’d be ancient by the time I got to an altar. I know our family and friends would be delighted in any event, but I’d feel strange having a big blowout when I’m close to 50. On the other hand, there are some traditions I’d want to keep, and the sheer size of my family means anything short of eloping would draw a crowd.

I’ve resigned myself to there being some comments at this wedding about my still being single. It’s inevitable for any sibling of the bridal couple, but doubly so when it’s an older sibling. There’ll probably be some murmuring about my sexuality, too. (Most of my family is super conservative. Sigh.) My plan is to ignore what I can, and joke about what I can’t. None of it is anyone’s business but my own.

Marriage has been so much of the life plan for nearly everyone I’ve known in my life that being single feels like rebellion, even though it’s just circumstance and not a conscious decision. I’d happily get married if I found the right guy. Do I need to? Of course not. But I would.

I know getting married would mean lots of adjustments, especially for someone my age, but then, anyone I married would likely be older as well. My mom has joked that I need “a husband in the next room”—someone I could call on for cuddles and sex and help around the house but who’d leave me to my own devices most of the time. I can imagine there are plenty of men who’d be perfectly happy in a marriage like that! (Feel free to refer them to me. LOL.)

There’s an added layer on top of all this wedding focus that comes from knowing that everyone now has the option to get married if they want. I got my first same-sex wedding “save the date” card a few weeks ago, and though it’s unlikely I’ll be able to make it to the wedding, it’s a wonderful feeling to know that these wonderful women can now freely and legally marry in front of their family and friends. I’m looking forward to seeing more and more as time goes by.

So hooray for marriage! Hooray for weddings! But most of all, hooray for us surviving this one and coming out the other side unscathed. Wish us luck. 🙂

~Shae Connor



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About Shae Connor

Shae Connor lives in Atlanta, where she’s a lackadaisical government worker for a living and writes sweet-hot romance under the cover of night. She’s been making things up for as long as she can remember, but it took her a long time to figure out that maybe she should try writing them down. She’s conned several companies into publishing her work and adds a new notch on her bedpost each time another story is unleashed onto an unsuspecting universe.

A member of the Romance Writers of America and the Rainbow Writers chapter, Shae was first published in 2010 and has a lineup of short stories, novellas, and novels available from Dreamspinner Press, Wilde City Press, MLR Press, and Amber Allure.

Shae is part Jersey, part Irish, and all Southern, which explains why she never shuts up. When she’s not chained to her laptop, she enjoys cooking, traveling, watching baseball, and reading voraciously, and she’s an annual volunteer for the Dragon Con on-site publication, the Daily Dragon. You can find her hanging out on Twitter most any time @shaeconnor, but for the more direct route, you can email her at or visit her website at .

Farewell Giveaway
I have a number of paperbacks, most of which are signed, to giveaway. Over the between now (11 Mar 2017) and 31 Mar 2017, every comment on the blog (this post and all other new posts), will be entered to win 1 of these paperbacks. There are also some misc swag items, so there will be a few packs of these to give away as well.

Thank you so much for your support over the last 4 years. Prism will be closing its doors on 1 April 2017. All content will remain available, but no new content will appear after 31 Mar 2017. As such all request forms have been turned off. Again Thank you,

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