Where is the Help or Rose Colored Glasses Smudged ~ Outside the Margins with Brandon Witt

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Brandon Witt Outside the Margins

I’m going to keep this month’s blog short and sweet. Otherwise, I fear I might slide into preacher and guilt trip mode. I guess I can blame it on my religious upbringing and youth ministry degree. For some reason, that just comes naturally at times, and that’s not how I want to come across. Least of all on this issue.

To say the past month in the world of MM romance has been turbulent would be the understatement of the century. Of course, it’s been the same the world over. Interesting that it’s wide spread. It’s made it hard to be on social media for many of us. Darkness from all angles.

I muss confess some disappointment in our little community at the moment. The dramas over the past few weeks have seemed more vicious to me than the previous ones. And I know that it’s just my perception and may not be the reality.

(I just typed a bunch about the specific dramas and then erased it. They’ve gotten enough attention. They don’t need more. I feel like if we just stopped giving the drama so much fuel, there wouldn’t be as many. But it’s hard to not jump on that bandwagon. We all feel like we need to say so much. To get it off our chests. To make our side or feelings known about each little or big issue. I would argue that we don’t. And maybe that we shouldn’t. That it only causes more hurt and more pain. But it’s so hard to keep our mouths shut. And I’m totally including myself in this. And, even as I write this, I’m aware that in the writing, I too, am not keeping my mouth shut. Thereby solidifying my religious upbringing, do what I preach, not what I do…)

I’m not only a little discouraged with us due to the wallowing in drama, but in us not living up to my expectations. Again, I have to reiterated that I know what I just said is the key. These are my expectations. Mine. No one is responsible for living up to them.

I think I also hold us to a higher standard. Which, again, is my own fault. I’ve done it with the religious community, then with the gay community, and then with the teaching community. They all have fallen so short. As will anyone or any group held to a ‘higher standard.’ It’s the kiss of death due it its impossible expectations.

Nevertheless, that is how I feel at the moment.

I’m not giving up on us or leaving the MM community. Not even close. I’m not angry at us or pointing fingers. I’m just coming to terms, once more, that we’re all human.

I think after seeing the community rally around Eric Arvin during his surgery, especially after I’d just recently become a part of the MM community at that point, spoiled me and gave me unrealistic expectations.

When the latest fund began a couple of weeks ago to help Eric once more, I supposed I expected a sweeping response. There wasn’t one. There has been much love and much giving. People that have given from five dollars to five hundred. To me, that part doesn’t make much of a difference, at least in terms of showing love. I guess that’s part of my religious past that still sticks. How Jesus issued such praise for the widow who gave little even though she had little to begin with. That has always stuck with me. Still, I feel like Eric is being passed over. And, honestly, I would argue he needs us even more now than before.

I know people are tired. I know people are hurting. It’s the holidays and there is so much pain in the world. I also know that maybe people are thinking, geesh, we already gave to this guy, here we go again. I hope not, but I’ve thought that in other/similar situations. (See, I’m ugly a lot, too, and don’t live up to my own expectations.)

I’m also aware that Eric’s life and situation is one that is extremely important to me and that I may just be projecting my desires onto others. Goodness knows there’s countless people out there that need our love and our support. Who am I to decide who should receive it?

Whatever the reason, I just keep thinking that if every person put in money equivalent to the time they spent wallowing in the drama, Eric would be taken care of. Plus several more, there’s been that much drama. I suppose that is where my hurt and disappointment come in at the moment. I really believed we were better than that. And, honestly, I’m going to choose to continue to believe that. Kinda like God. I’m not sure I really still believe in him at all, but I choose to. Probably because I’m too weak not to. Same for us. I love our community. I love who we are and what we represent and that we rise to the occasion. Even if at times we don’t. I’m guess I’m too weak not to.


I said I would be short and sweet. I said I wouldn’t use religious guilt.

I didn’t mean to lie. I just started typing and it all poured out. As well as the tears that are flowing at this very minute.

I apologize if my words or emotions have hurt you in any way or if I’ve caused offense. I promise that it was the last thing I intended, and I do not want to be a cause of more drama.

Most importantly, if you can at all, and feel lead, please support Eric’s fund and/or share it so that others will know.

Thank you! Brandon


~Brandon Witt

About Brandon Witt

Brandon Witt resides in Denver, Colorado. When not snuggled on the couch with his two Corgis, Dunkyn and Dolan, he is more than likely in front of his computer, nose inches from the screen, fingers pounding they keys. When he manages to tear himself away from his writing addiction, he passionately takes on the role of a special education teacher during the daylight hours.

Website: http://www.brandonwitt.com
Author Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/brandon.witt.author
Twitter: https://twitter.com/wittauthor
The Witty Hour:  https://www.facebook.com/TheWittyHour

Farewell Giveaway
I have a number of paperbacks, most of which are signed, to giveaway. Over the between now (11 Mar 2017) and 31 Mar 2017, every comment on the blog (this post and all other new posts), will be entered to win 1 of these paperbacks. There are also some misc swag items, so there will be a few packs of these to give away as well.

Thank you so much for your support over the last 4 years. Prism will be closing its doors on 1 April 2017. All content will remain available, but no new content will appear after 31 Mar 2017. As such all request forms have been turned off. Again Thank you,

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12 thoughts on “Where is the Help or Rose Colored Glasses Smudged ~ Outside the Margins with Brandon Witt

  1. I agree about Eric Arvin. I can’t imagine the struggles and strength of that family, but it’s pretty inspiring nonetheless.

  2. Thank you for the heartfelt post. I tend not to get involved in drama as it just exhausts me.

    Thank you also for sharing the link to support Eric Arvin. I donated last week when I saw it on another post, but am glad to see you provide some more awareness.

  3. Brandon…having been a witness to the entire Eric Arvin trauma, I admit that I’ve pulled back, for various reasons. Your blog made me rethink a bit. There is a purpose to carefully utilized guilt, and it worked. Thank you.

  4. I found it funny and telling that the very day this posted (I wrote it a few days before) that Eric shared a video of him giving thanks for how much people were showing him love by donating and getting him help. Part of the beauty of his soul. Where I see how much we are lacking, he sees how much was given. Seriously. He amazes me!
    Now, let’s please justify his faith and make this thing happen! 🙂

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