Dealing with the Big D- Disappointment ~ Outside the Margins with Susan Mac Nicol

Join Prism Book Alliance® as Susan Mac Nicol goes Outside the Margins today.

Susan-Mac-Nicol

Disappointment

noun

    1. sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfilment of one’s hopes or expectations.

to her disappointment, there was no chance to talk privately with Luke”

synonyms: sadnessregretdismaysorrow

We’ve all done it. Looked forward to something with such enthusiasm, built ourselves up for the MOST AMAZING thing ever then been left lost and bitterly disappointed when it didn’t quite turn out to be what we expected. Being disappointment started when we were just a kid and it will continue to happen right up until the moment we pass on.

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The hippo standing in a river, staring up at the sky and bellowing out, “I said I wanted to be reincarnated as a hippie, you moron!”

Being felt let down when a liar’s pants don’t actually catch fire

Never getting that call from Benedict Cumberbatch to invite you to The Ivy for lunch

Racing to the canteen at lunchtime to find out there are only cheese and marmite sandwiches left…

Receiving no Likes on what you thought was a witty Facebook update.

Sigh. Disappointing indeed.

It’s clinically proven that there can be the lingering after effects of disappointment which lead to psychological and physical stress. Disappointment = Sadness and apathy, resulting in headaches, stress and depression. You may not know that scientists have speculated, that experiencing such an emotion also results in actual physiological and chemical changes in the brain.

Disappointment is an emotion that stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system. A chemical response is triggered which results in melancholy, inertia, and a feeling of hopelessness. If there is a prolonged ‘roller coaster’ of emotions excitement/stress, followed by melancholy/inertia, serious stress-induced disease may occur. These may include heart disease, digestive disorders, and depressed immune system.
https://www.modernghana.com/lifestyle/4866/the-psychology-of-disappointment.html

Wow. Who knew that not getting that #1 Best Seller ribbon on your new release, or that the guy you see in the cafeteria every morning and hoped liked you in return is actually married to a bombshell who looks like Kate Winslett, could cause such extreme reactions in the long term?

So now we know it happens, how do we deal with it? Disappointment is different to regret – regret is something we either had the chance to do and didn’t, or did and then found out it wasn’t quite the right thing to do.

The answer is – we move on.

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Change your expectations

Yes, it’s wonderful to reach for the stars but unfortunately, one has to be a realist. Making a million on the publication of your first book, or the creation of your first invention, happens to probably one person in a billion. I’m a great believer in that old adage, ‘slowly wins the race’. Illegitimi non carborundum. Be the turtle, not the hare. You get the drift.

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Control your thinking

Stop being negative, and change the focus to one of positivity. Don’t let your thoughts control you, let it be the other way around. Redirecting your chain of thought to one of future planning and being in control of the situation.

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Put it in perspective

To me this is probably the most important thing to help you overcome disappointment. Is not getting that #1 ribbon really going to make a huge impact in your life when there are much bigger issues in the world to deal with? Donald Trump becoming President of the US; a parent who has lost a child, someone who is terminally ill or a natural disaster claiming untold lives.  Remember this when you bemoan your lot. Yes, it’s your lot to bemoan, you have that right, but try to remember -others may have it worse. Then pull up those big boy or girl pants and move on. The next disappointment might be right around the corner.

~Susan Mac Nicol


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Title: Saving Alexander
Author: Susan Mac Nicol
Publisher: Boroughs Publishing
Publication Date: 10/27/2013
Cover Artist: Boroughs Publishing -Chris Keeslar
Genre: M/M Romance

Blurb:

Punishing himself for a horrific past that is not his fault, bestselling author Alexander Montgomery seeks redemption and love—and perhaps he will find it.

Famous author though he may be, Alexander Montgomery is not someone you take home to meet your mother. Seriously flawed, damaged by a horrific past, he’s trying hard to claw his way back to normality. But how can anyone respect what he truly is? His therapy involves regular sessions at Study in Scarlet, an exclusive S&M club.

Then comes Sage. Tall, with black hair and blue eyes, an up-and-coming actor with impossible charm and boy-next-door good looks, he’s the perfect choice to play the leading man in a TV adaptation of Alex’s latest best-seller. Even more, he is a man you introduce to your family. Which Alex would do—if he weren’t taken by another man who offers the punishments Alex prays will wipe away the past and make him the person he wants to be. Yet, perhaps there is another path to redemption. If only the solution would reach out and touch him.

Links

Saving Alexander on Goodreads
Boroughs Publishing
Amazon US
Amazon UK
Amazon CA
All Romance eBooks

About Susan Mac Nicol

Farewell Giveaway
I have a number of paperbacks, most of which are signed, to giveaway. Over the between now (11 Mar 2017) and 31 Mar 2017, every comment on the blog (this post and all other new posts), will be entered to win 1 of these paperbacks. There are also some misc swag items, so there will be a few packs of these to give away as well.

Thank you so much for your support over the last 4 years. Prism will be closing its doors on 1 April 2017. All content will remain available, but no new content will appear after 31 Mar 2017. As such all request forms have been turned off. Again Thank you,

Brandilyn
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