Prism Book Alliance® would like to thank Kage Alan, Ally Blue, T.C. Blue, Kiernan Kelly for stopping by today.
Title: Butt Villains on Vacation
Author: Kage Alan, Ally Blue, T.C. Blue, Kiernan Kelly
Publisher: Wilde City
Cover Artist: Unknown
Genre: Contemporary, Fiction, Gay, Gay Fiction, Gay Romance, Horror, Humor/Comedy, Romance
Release Date: 05/09/2016
Heroes are boring. Seriously, how much effort does it take to be good? Fortunately, we don’t know! The Butt-Thology authors are back again with their latest action-packed, suspenseful, horrifying thriller…Butt Villains On Vacation. Okay, it might be a comedy.
Find out who Designation Enforcement are pursuing at The Flaming Skull B&B, if retired villain Drunkboy can find love without accidentally killing someone, what happens when Assassin Bandit’s travel agent books him into a resort with the good guys, and why villains and arch nemeses Master Malevolence and The Fluffy Bunny have morning sickness symptoms after hooking up with each other!
Hello! Or, as they say in Canada, eh! Kage Alan here. It started off as a joke. Not a bad or insulting joke, but a fun one, a sort of “wouldn’t it be sweet if we did this” kind of thing. And we did it. That’s how Butt Pirates In Space, an anthology of semi-humorous stories, was born. Our little joke continued after that and became a literary franchise with Butt Ninjas From Hell, Butt Babes In Boyland, Butt Riders on the Range, and, now, Butt Villains On Vacation.
Each anthology has provided an outlet for the authors involved to show off a bit of our quirky side, let our hair down—or, in my case, not use hair gel—and spin something a bit shorter than a full length novel. We’ve played in different genres, different subgenres, and made each other laugh with our antics. It’s been good for us, and, apparently, readers too.
For this year’s story, I was talking with my little brother last June about a news article I read that stated science was only a couple of years away from being able to combine the DNA of two men in a surrogate pregnancy. This would allow two gay men to have something of each other in a child’s genetic makeup. This fascinated me and also scared me because if my husband and I ever did such a thing, we’d have to check the child’s scalp for three little ‘6’s after he was born.
But the news article also got me thinking. What if one of the drug companies was secretly working on a way to manipulate a man’s body in order to allow it to conceive and carry a child through pregnancy? What if the company was also carefully selecting subjects, then paying their employees to win the subject’s hearts, date them, and start them on the medication and road to such a pregnancy?
And what if two of those subjects secretly happened to be super villains with a list of phobias who, because of unknown variables, ended up hooking up despite being enemies, and got each other pregnant? Naturally, all such revelations would come out while they ended up in the same place on vacation. I felt a great deal of comedy could be had from this kind of set-up. Readers will be the final judge if I was successful, though.
So, kick back with a cup of tea or coffee, a towel in case you gigglesnort, and prepare yourself for a story from myself, Kiernan Kelly, T.C. Blue, and Ally Blue. Butt Villains On Vacation…because we care about your sanity!
“Now”—the doctor walked over to the cabinet he’d been looking at, opened it, and brought out a second stethoscope—“it would be a really strange coincidence if you and the gentleman across the hall had the same symptoms.”
“What’s that?” Dylan pointed to the piece of equipment in the doctor’s hand.
“It’s a special kind of stethoscope, a fetal one.” He put the eartips in his ears and walked back over to Dylan.
“A fetal stethoscope?” Dylan asked. “Or do you mean a fatal one? Do I have something fatal? Just what exactly does that little shit over there have wrong with him? It damn well better not be an STD! What are his symptoms?”
“A second heartbeat right” —Doctor Delgado put the chest piece on Dylan’s chest— “here. Oh, dear.”
“Oh, dear? What does that mean?” Dylan demanded.
“It means it better be fucking half Chinese!” Chi Kit roared.
“Do you happen to have any chloroform you could use on him, please?” Dylan asked. “Or maybe something stronger…or lethal?”
“I heard that!”
“Did you take anything for your upset stomach?” the doctor asked, ignoring the man’s question, while making additional notes on the clipboard.
“I took an antacid last night for a little bit of heartburn, and it helped.” Dylan still wasn’t sure what he had or if he should even be concerned. “Why?”
“You might want to hold off on those during your last trimester.”
“My last tri—” Why was the doctor still going on about that nonsense for? Come on. “Tri what? Why?”
“Trimester,” Doctor Delgado repeated. “Because antacids could potentially interfere with your contractions.”
“I know how to use contractions, thank you.” No…no…no… This isn’t real. I will therefore ignore it. “I can speak just fine.”
The doctor sighed and made one additional note on the clipboard.
“We both know you know that’s not what I’m talking about.”
Doctor Delgado used his hand and gently push Dylan down onto his back. He then played with some buttons near a small panel near the man’s head, and the bed started moving. It elevated Dylan’s upper body a tiny bit, then detached a section at the end where his legs were. Dylan pulled his feet up and rested them on the edge while the doctor attached a set of metal stirrups.
“Really?” Dylan shook his head in defiance. “I mean, are you actually saying—”
“I get the feeling you’re trying to tell me something, doctor”—Dylan tried Chi Kit’s line from the previous night— “but you’re being very subtle about it.”
“You’re an asshat!” Chi Kit yelled.
About the Author
Kage Alan lives in a suburb of Detroit, MI with his husband and their fish & shrimp, who are all affectionately named and answer to “fish” or “shrimp”…except his husband. He lives in fear of his husband’s Hong Kong Grandmonster, and is the author of GLBT comedies A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. the Lord of the Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, the non-comedic Falling Awake, and Butt-thology short stories Spacehunters: Master Elite and the Maternal Order of Loganites Beyond Uranus, Twink Ninja Tiger, Flaxen Buns Of Fury, It’s A Wonderful Lube, and Chinchilla Chimichangas.
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