Show Me Your Friends and I’ll Show You: You ~ Outside the Margins with Tami Veldura

Join Prism Book Alliance® as Tami Veldura goes Outside the Margins today.

Jim Rohn once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

I wish I knew where I heard that first because I certainly never attended a Rohn motivational seminar. I suspect I gleaned it from a book called Do They Serve Beer In Hell which was something of a train wreck experience just to read–let alone live. It’s quite vulgar and self-congratulatory. I recommend it.

Who do you spend the most time with? Note that this question doesn’t ask whether or not you like these people, or if they’re good to be around, or if they support your life choices. All they need to do is spend time in your vicinity–more time than other people.

Are they parents? Siblings? Roomates? An SO? Sorry, your dog doesn’t count. But internet friends do, if you spend time chatting with them one-on-one. Long distance contacts count if you text or call them frequently.

Ponder these people a little. What are their good qualities? What are their bad ones?

I mentioned this to Boyfriend once. “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

He made a face. Not a good one. “I need to quit my job. I can’t be George when I grow up.”

“What?” I said, incredulous. “You mean you don’t want to become an old crusty man who swears at suppliers?”

Spoiler Alert, reader: we quit the job.

Since I ran into it, this phrase has given me a lot of hope. I’ve never been a person tolerant of drama in my immediate space. I’ve become friends with people over the years who collect drama like bottles of nail polish and while they’re delightful people, I find drama exhausting. So I’ll step to the side and let it pass before I engage again. I’ve lost contact with people who just couldn’t be non-drama for even a moment. And in this way I’ve selectively pruned my closest friend group into a pod of powerful, inspirational people hoping maybe some of that will rub off on me.

Boyfriend has done this too, though he’s been less aware of the process. He’s always striving to push himself, to learn something new, and through that effort has collected a goodly amount of smart, fast people.

I know a young man who went from college dropout to successful small business in the course of six months when his roommates moved out and he needed to find new ones. Not all of us are this malleable, of course, but if some of your optimism, or your luck, or your success can be influenced by the people you surround yourself with… wouldn’t you want to take advantage?

Now you know the secret. Go find yourself some awesome people. And be the awesome person you always knew you were.

~Tami Veldura


Title: Learning To Want
Author: Tami Veldura
Publisher: NineStar Press
Publication Date: 11/21/2016
Cover Artist: Natasha Snow
Genre: BDSM, Gay Romance, Science Fiction


Khoram isn’t supposed to be a slave. He’s an enforcer, a bodyguard, and his boss has just betrayed him. Now he’s stranded on a desert planet he’s never heard of, and chained to the only other human around: his new master.
Atash grew up in the cracks of Dulia’s complex social structure; where dominance and submission are a man’s worth. He takes after his mother—human—while his native father doesn’t know he exists. He’s struggled for years on a lower caste but Khoram is his ticket to a better life.
Atash doesn’t want another slave, he wants to teach Khoram Dulia’s ways and maybe make a name for himself. But Khoram isn’t here to play Atash’s political games. He’s going to escape, if his former employer doesn’t see him killed first.


Learning To Want on Goodreads

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About Tami Veldura

Tami Veldura is a reader, editor, and author of LGBT work. She’s a petite dragon who hordes purple things and prefers the title Mx. Track her down on twitter or find her books on Amazon and AllRomance. Bring your best pokemon and cat videos.

Farewell Giveaway
I have a number of paperbacks, most of which are signed, to giveaway. Over the between now (11 Mar 2017) and 31 Mar 2017, every comment on the blog (this post and all other new posts), will be entered to win 1 of these paperbacks. There are also some misc swag items, so there will be a few packs of these to give away as well.

Thank you so much for your support over the last 4 years. Prism will be closing its doors on 1 April 2017. All content will remain available, but no new content will appear after 31 Mar 2017. As such all request forms have been turned off. Again Thank you,

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