On the Divide – Part 32 ~ Outside the Margins with Freddy MacKay

Join Prism Book Alliance® as Freddy MacKay goes Outside the Margins today.

Welcome to the Prism Book Alliance Blog today! Freddy MacKay here—one of the contributors to Outside the Margins. For my part, I write flash fiction pieces for a story called On the Divide. These are not professionally edited but I do try to catch my mistakes. I hope you enjoy.

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On the Divide – Part 32 by Freddy MacKay

Dinner had been a quiet affair. Harlan pretended to not watch Cooper while Cooper studiously pushed his food around the plate and ignored being watched. A lot wasn’t said, but body language implied a hell of a lot. It was all hanging in the air, clogging up the apartment with its foulness. Cooper had tried to be cheerful. Push past the pain. His failure. Except he wasn’t fooling anyone but himself. Big time.

Court had left him reeling since that morning. Somehow Cooper made it through work and class. He even managed to go grocery shopping. All of it was done in a haze. An almost out-of-body experience type of thing. Cooper saw what he was doing but it really hadn’t felt like him doing it all.

Maybe he should’ve stopped by the gym. Blow off some steam. Though with where his head was at, Cooper would’ve ended up with a broken nose and concussion. Or worse. It depended on who got in the ring with him. Because it was definitely a ring kind of day.

The need to fight, to protect himself, wrapped itself around the haze Cooper found himself in.

“You wanna watch something, Coop?”

“Hmm?”

“Or should I just head out?” Harlan stood and brought his plate to the sink.

It took a few seconds for the question to register. “What? Why?”

“You seem to need some space.”

There wasn’t any censure or judgement in Harlan’s statement. It just was. That was why it cut so deep. Cooper fought back the urge to rub at his chest.

Could he fuck up things anymore?

“Should I take the silence as agreement?”

Shit. He could. Problem was Cooper didn’t think he could say anything. He’d been lost in his head all day. The world a blur around him. In the back of his head Cooper knew his nerves were shot. That he should’ve canceled their date. But another part of Cooper was still trying to “man up” like the judge told him too.

How stupid was he? Cooper shouldn’t be trying to do anything. He knew that. Except he couldn’t stop. A baser part of him wanted to prove he could be a man.

Instead he got up and went to the sink, boxing Harlan in as he placed his plate down. He nuzzled the back of Harlan’s neck with his mouth. A quick indrawn breath told Cooper he’d done something right.

“Don’t force yourself,” Harlan said quietly.

The words stung.

“I’m okay with going home. Whatever’s going on we can talk about it later. When you feel up to company.”

They cut deep. Almost as as deep as the judge’s words. How pathetic of a guy did he have to be to need coddling?

Cooper pressed his mouth over Harlan’s neck, leaving wet kisses behind. The groan from Harlan sounded like it was ripped from his chest. The hesitancy urged Cooper to go farther. He wrapped his arms around Harlan.

“You sure about this?” Harlan asked while trying to pull away. “With how you’re acting I don’t think this is what—”

“I’m sure,” Cooper gasped out. His heart hammered relentlessly. “Let me have you.”

Harlan stilled, stiff in Cooper’s hold. He rocked for a few moments, several deep breaths followed, then Harlan nodded. Whatever he was thinking had him leaning back into Cooper. It felt good—reassuring—to have Harlan trust him.

Now Cooper didn’t feel so useless. The buzz from the day thinned, no longer leaving him feeling so raw, so exposed. No. Harlan was trusting him.

And the trust soothed Cooper’s wounded heart.

Harlan pressed back against Cooper’s chest and groin. Mmm-yes. That did feel nice. After a day of failure, of pretending to exist as a functional person, having Harlan giving Cooper control was balm to his burning soul.

~Freddy MacKay

About Freddy MacKay

I grew up and went to college in the Midwest where I currently reside with my family. I spend most of my time playing sports and running around outside. And honestly, that much has not changed since I was little, except who is included my activities. I also have a healthy geocaching addiction. It’s so much fun! I enjoy spending my time traveling when I can, and I hold the view that a person should continually to learn about new things and people whenever possible.

My contemporary LGBTQ book, Incubation: Finding Peace 2, won 3rd Place – Best Gay Erotic Fiction in the 2012 Rainbow Awards. In 2013, Internment, won 3rd Place – Best Gay Fantasy in the Rainbow Awards. Feel Me (The Marduck Expanse) was a Gay SF Finalist and Honorable Mention in the 2014 Rainbow Awards.

Email: freddy.m.mackay@gmail.com
Website: http://freddysstereograph.weebly.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/FreddyMacKay
Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/FreddyMacKay

Farewell Giveaway
I have a number of paperbacks, most of which are signed, to giveaway. Over the between now (11 Mar 2017) and 31 Mar 2017, every comment on the blog (this post and all other new posts), will be entered to win 1 of these paperbacks. There are also some misc swag items, so there will be a few packs of these to give away as well.

Thank you so much for your support over the last 4 years. Prism will be closing its doors on 1 April 2017. All content will remain available, but no new content will appear after 31 Mar 2017. As such all request forms have been turned off. Again Thank you,

Brandilyn
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